Awoken
by dazzleme15
Summary: This is my version of what happened to Melanie and co after she woke up after Wanda was taken. Sorry, My summary sucks but it gets better rated T for safety
1. Awake

_**Disclaimer – I don't own The Host or any of the characters, i'm just a huge fan. They all belong to the fabulous author, Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**This is my first Host fan fic so please let me know what you think at the end.... I would like to know any improvements so I can be a better writer. **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx **_

"Mel, can you hear me? Mel." It was the sound of the voice that brought me round to almost complete awareness. It was so sharp and clear, to hear it through my own ears. It was this voice that still had the power to send my heart in to a fluttering mess.

_Jared._

"Mel, are you there? Can you hear me? You have to come back to me now, okay?"

_Jared, I'm here._

Then it hit me like taking a kick to the gut. Wanda was gone. The realisation that I had to speak for myself suddenly dawned on me. Wanda wasn't here for translations anymore. I had to use my voice, which is something I hadn't, really, done in over a year.

"Melanie Stryder! Wake up this instant! You hear me! You have to wake up now!" Jared's voice had increased in volume and was filled with traces of annoyance, but it was free from any kind of anger. How could he be annoyed? How long had I been lost in unconsciousness? It seemed like only seconds ago that I had said my goodbye to Wanda. Had it really been long enough for Jared to be annoyed at me?

"Mel, its Jamie. Please wake up. We need you with us. Please, just open you eyes." This voice filled my heart with as much love as Jared's had, but a different love, a love that was just as powerful, just different. Looking back of my life with Jamie, I think I've only heard his voice this vulnerable once before, and that was when he was faced with the realisation that he may lose to, what back then, was our enemies. It was when he admitted to being scared that I would lead the seekers to him and Jared, just as our father had once done. That was the closest cool that we'd ever truly had with the seekers, and the souls for that matter. (I was truly lucky to get Wanda as my soul, she knew what it meant to me human and to love people they way on a human could)

It fell silent around me, all I could hear was the breathing of me, Jared and Jamie. Then all of a sudden a hand stroked my left cheek. I could tell from the trail of fire that it left, that it was Jared's hand. And it was this, ever so simple, gesture that made my eyes flutter open. As my eyes opened and closer, as a reflex to the light in the room - even though it wasn't bright, it was obvious that my eyes had been free from any light for quite sometime - I felt two grips on my hands tighten.

"Mel. Your awake!" Jamie voice had risen several octaves, and the vulnerability that was in it before had disappeared, it was now filled with excitement and relief. Even though his simple statement had not be any kind of question, or require an answer, I felt a strange need to say something to him, I searched for my voice, but I simply couldn't find it. I just lay there, staring at him like some kind of moronic idiot. Before I could attempt to find my voice again, Jared had his hand on my cheek again. Even when I was perfectly fine, and before all this Wanda business, his touch had, had the ability to leave me speechless, so I had no chance of finding the words for Jamie now.

"Hey, baby" His voice had also risen several octaves, and his eyes were full of the emotion that couldn't be expressed through a tone of voice. This shocked me. Jared very rarely let his cool façade drop, but at this moment, his was totally exposed, emotionally. His eyes had a watery glaze, and a single tear-drop of his pure happiness, dropped down his cheek.

I needed to find my voice, but I couldn't. I just, couldn't but somehow I managed to fling my arms around Jared neck, pulling myself to a sitting position as I did this. I also dragged Jamie half up onto my cot as I did this because his hand refused to let mine out of his vice-like grip.

It felt like we sat there for hours before Jared pulled me back by my shoulders and just stared into my eyes. The room had become silent, all I could hear was my racing pulse which was caused by in intensity of Jared's watch. Jamie seemed to sense the intensity and brought it upon himself to extract it from the atmosphere with a enquiry about where his hug was. It wasn't quite reading to try **my **voice yet so I simply put my arms around Jamie and hugged him for a good five minutes. After the hug I stayed sitting up and just let my eyes flicker from Jared's face to Jamie's and back again.

It wasn't long before Doc entered the room and kindly greeted me.

"Melanie, your awake. Well, isn't that good. Do you want some water?" I still didn't feel ready to use words so I nodded simply. Doc passed Jared some water and he handed it to me. I sipped it slowly as I allowed my eyes to continue to flicker from Jamie's face to Jared's face, which was still full of emotion. I had half expected this to disappear at Doc's presence, but it didn't and I was glad. Jared didn't often show emotion but when he did, it felt like I was falling in love with him all over again.

"So, how are you feeling?" Doc asked. I decided it was time to test my vocals, and to enquire about my missing sister, Wanda.

"Lonely." The word came out in a strange monotone, but I was relieved that I was actually about to talk. Everyone seemed to understand what I meant by my statement but I didn't expect the reaction I got from anyone. I wonder if Doc told them that she was planning on remaining on this planet for all eternity, buried underground with Walter and Wes? I'm sure Jamie and Jared wouldn't allow that, so I expected them to say something like she is on her way to the Flowers and Dolphins.

"Well..." Jared and Jamie said at the same time.

"Oh, please. Let me tell her, please. Please, please" Jamie sounded excited again and I couldn't for the life of comprehend why he was. He loved Wanda and much as I had grown to love her, as my sister. The lose of as loved one didn't normally allow us to feel emotions like excitement. It left a space in your heart that only the emotions of sadness, and grief could fill, a least only these emotions could fill it at first. Over time the space would fill out with the love you share with others who are still with you, but, I know I wasn't unconscious long enough for the hole to be filled already, it took months for the hole to fill. At some point in my metal rant about emotions, Jared must have motioned for Jamie to finish what they were about to say.

"Mel, we're gonna save Wanda. We're gonna find her another host. She gets to stay with us!" It was at this new development that I finally understood Jamie's excitement. He didn't have to grieve for the loss of a loved one, because there was no real loss. She was coming back to us. I was overwhelmed by emotions at this new development. Optimism. Joy. Hope. And most of all relief. I would 'see' my sister again.

"Thank you" was all I managed to choke out before I quickly sipped my water again. It was definitely lack of moisture in **my **body that was making it hard for me to find my voice.

"I'm so glad to have you back," The sound of Jared's voice pulled all my attention to him. He rested his hand on my cheek as my head turned to meet his gaze. I felt a twinge of guilt as my concerns for Wanda, all but melted away with Jared's touch. He leaned his head towards mine and gently pressed is lips to mine, but the kiss had no time to deepen because Jamie was making a gagging sound at my side, that was in between giggles that made him seem 10 years old again.


	2. Catching Up

_**Disclaimer – I don't own The Host or any characters. I'm just a fan who loves to write. They all belong to the fabulous author, Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**Thanks for choosing to read my fan fic... please review my work and I would love to hear any improvements you have to make me a better writer **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx **_

After Doc checked me over, and gave me the all clear, Jared, Jamie and myself began to walk back to our room in the caves. I still had clear memories of what Wanda had seen so I knew the paths like the back of my hand.

From what I could see through the small cracks in the caves, it was deep into the night. My thoughts were confirmed when we reached the main plaza, and it was completely empty and only the glow of the blue light confirming our path to the sleeping quarters.

Jared and I walked hand in hand and Jamie bounced along beside us both. It suddenly came to me, the questions I had yet to ask anyone. How long had I been unconscious? How long had Jared and Jamie gone without sleep? There were a lot more questions that flooded my mind so I decided to start with a simple one.

"Aren't you two tired?" I asked, and turned my head off the direction of the floor and on to Jared face. I probably should have looked at Jamie, he showed tiredness on his face more than Jared does but now that my eyes had found Jared, I couldn't bring myself to look away from him. It was so nice to see his face with my own eyes that it felt like a physical impossibility to move my eyes away. His face looked like it had gained so much more beauty, even though I knew that his face hadn't changed all that much in the time we had spent apart.

"Jamie and I have been sleeping at different times of the day from the other. We've been watching over you and making sure that when you finally woke up, we could spend every minute of your waking hour with you." Jared answered my question and met my gaze at the same time. The intensity in my eyes sent my heart into overload. I could have sworn that it would fly out my chest at any second.

We continued walking in silence as Jared and I still had each others eyes looked together. Not only had Jared stare sent my heart pumping so hard, I thought it would burst through my ribs, but he had made me forget every question I was going to ask. I knew that I had to brake the stare to be able to continue so I, reluctantly tore my eyes away and began to look at feet.

"How long was I out? I asked in a chilled out tone. I really didn't know why it mattered but I still wanted to know so I asked anyway. I had other questions but all I really needed to know was that everyone was okay, I mean, Jared, Jamie, myself, we were all fine. We were a newly reunited family again. And I now knew that my goodbye to Wanda wasn't my last, so all my other question had dwindled in importance.

A matter of moments after I thought about Wanda, my mind seemed to scream just one name. Ian. I felt a sudden wave of guilt flood over me, and when I say wave, it was more like a Tsunami. I had been concious for nearly three hours now and hadn't asked, or even thought about Ian, or how much pain he must be in right now.

"Hello. Earth to Melanie. Anybody home?" It was Jared voice the broke my train of thought about Ian.

"Sorry" I muttered.

"What you thinking about?" Jared asked, giving my hand a quick squeeze.

"Ian." My voice was filled with a sadness that seemed to offend Jared, because he looked away from me very quickly.

"Oh..." I suddenly catch onto why Jared was upset, and before he could say anymore I interrupted him, to explain the nature of my thoughts on Ian.

"No. Oh, God no. I wasn't _thinking_ about Ian. I just haven't asked about him. He must be devastated. She didn't even give him a proper goodbye, she just snuck out on him." Jared seemed to accept my explanation and he turned his head back in my direction and gave my hand another quick squeeze. The corners of his mouth began to twitch up into and apologetic smile. He mouthed the word sorry, and I gave his hand a squeeze in recognition to this.

"He never leave her alone," I had almost forgotten Jamie was with us until his interruption in mine and Jared secret apology. It took me a few seconds to understand what Jamie had said.

"Where is he?" I asked

"In his room, with her Cryotank. Like I said, he never leaves her. And he hasn't left his room in the two days since she was taken out of you. He only lets me go in a sit, anyone else gets kicked out rather quickly, even Jared." As Jamie spoke his voice got sadder and sadder. He had recently spent a lot more time with Ian and he was begin to love him as a brother like he had come to love Jared when we found him. It was only Ian and Jamie that really wanted Wanda around this place. I knew that Jared would have happily gotten rid of her to have me. This made me feel sad and happy at the same time. It's like he would do anything for me, which made me feel like I was falling in love with him all over again, but I was sad that he would happily get rid of Wanda, who had become a sister to me in the year we had spent together in my body.

"Jeb has given him the okay, not to work for a few days, or 'til we get a host for Wanda," Jared said.

"Does Ian want to choose? I don't think that we should choose for him, he has to live with her. I mean, in case you didn't know, they'll be together. She loves him, you know?" I suddenly felt like had violated Wanda's privacy. I mean people could tell others and they could go on to tell others, but know one had told me, I had been made to overhear, and to feel what Wanda said to Ian. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Oh well, to late now.

"I don't know," Jared said "He won't talk to anyone. All he does is cling to her tank and sit in the corner of his room. Nobody can get through to him, not me, not Kyle. Jamie tried to get him to talk but nothing. I don't know what we're gonna do with him, until we get Wanda back. Which lead me to my question; You up for a raid to find her tomorrow? I thought it better sooner rather than later."

"I couldn't agree more. Yeah, a raid would be good, but let me try and talk to Ian first. He might want to choose? He should get a choice."

We finally reached out room, and it was set out with one single bed and one double mattress. As much as I loved Jamie, we were going to have to see if there was another place for him, I mean, it has been over a year since Jared and I have 'seen' each other.

"You can try" Jared said, in a voice that wasn't so convinced that I could get through to him. I was a little offended, why couldn't I?

Well, for one thing, Ian thinks that I wanted Wanda to leave, because she lied to everyone and said I wanted my body back. But I was gonna put that to the back of my mind and just see if I could get through to him and assure him that Wanda will return to us all.

It was only at this point that Doc's promise entered my mind. As Jared sat down on the end of the mattress and pulled me down with him, I fought back a swell of tears that had hit me. Doc had promised not to send Wanda away, or to put her back into a body on this planet. He had given her his oath that he would have her buried with Wes and Walter outside the caves. How was I meant to get around that? I had taken from the reactions and determination of both Jamie and Jared that Doc had not let on about his promise so how could we get her in a body, with no doctor to preform the surgery. Stuck, with no way out. I would have to live with out my sister and Ian would have to live without the woman she loved. I had to talk to Jared about this, but I couldn't say it in front of Jamie, if he didn't know, it would kill him.

"Jamie, would you mind going and getting me a snack. I'm starving." I lied. Well, actually, thinking about it, I was kind of hungry, but I could wait. I just wanted Jamie out the way.

"Sure. What so you want? I think we still have a few Granola bars left from the last raid," Jamie said as he got to his feet.

"That sounds lovely," I said as Jamie got the door of the room. "Thanks." I added as he left. As soon as I was sure that Jamie was out of earshot, I turned to Jared.

"I have to tell you something." I said. Jared's face lost his perfect smile, and his expression set into one of worry.

"What?" He prompted, after I said nothing.

_**Thanks for reading... **_

_**please read and review and let me know what you think about my fan fic**_

_**New Chapter coming soon.. **_

_**the more review the quicker I can writer **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx**_


	3. Him

_**Disclaimer – I don't own the host or any of the character. They all belong to fab autor, Stephenie Meyer **_

_**Thanks for reading... don't forget to review at the end, any constructive criticism is welcomes and is like so that I can improve as a writer **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx**_

"Wanda and Doc made a promise with each other that means we can't get her a new host, or at least it means that Doc won't put her into a new host." I rushed the words, unsure that if I talked slowly, I would be able to keep my voice from catching.

"What do you mean? Of course he will. We talked about it. Maybe not directly to Doc, but we talked about it when he was around."

"Believe me. Wanda made him give her a oath that he will have her buried with Wes and Walter."

"What? Why would she do that?"

"Something about not wanting to be a parasite anymore. All she really thought about was how this was her planet and that she didn't want to take another life from anyone, in case they were still alive inside them like I was." I couldn't keep my voice from catching now. Tear has began to stream down my face as I told Jared this. He seemed to remain calm throughout my explanation, and it made me a little angry. Why wasn't he upset about this? I mean, I know he wasn't Wanda biggest fan, but he cared about her. I could tell by the way he used to look at her.

"Don't worry" he says.

That done it. "Don't Worry!!! She was as good as my sister, Jared. How can I not worry!? She's as good as dead!!!" My voice echoed through out the caves, as I suddenly remembered that everyone else was sleeping I lowered my voice. "What am I meant to do? I can't do it again, go through the thought that I have lost my family. I've done it once, and I simply can't handle the pain of that again." I was sobbing into my hands at this point, and I think for the first time since I had woken up, Jared and I weren't touching.

Jared quickly pulled me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest.

"Hey now. I didn't mean that we were going to forget about Wanda and do nothing. Okay?" He pulled my face back so that our eyes met. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. He was going to help Wanda. But how?

"How?" I asked, as I tried to control my tears and sobs.

"I'm not sure yet. But, honestly, there has to be away. It might be as simple as asking Doc to do it." My sobs had slowed, and I almost had them under control. I had my head hidden in Jared chest as he rubbed my back and tried to calm me.

"Are you okay now?" Jared asks the sobbing finally comes to a stop.

"Yeah. I think so." I looked up at him, his face was full of concern for me.

"Good. We wouldn't want Jamie to see you like this. Best not tell him about this"

"Yeah. Thanks for letting me get it out. I think I need to go and speak to Ian now?"

"Are you sure? I mean, I'm not sure it you breaking down in front of him is gonna help? It might just reinforce the fact that Wanda gone," Jared whispered in my ear.

"Yes, I'm sure. I think I just got all the crying out." I pulled away from Jared, but his arms kept me on his lap. Then all of a sudden, his lips were forceful against mine. He had kissed me this way a thousand times, but the time apart seemed to make the kiss different. Before I knew it, I had pushed Jared back on to the mattress and was laying on top of him kissing him. We broke the kiss, but his lips never left my skin. As I tried to get my breathe back, his lips trailed down to my neck and back again. I could feel every inch of Jared's body pressed against mine, and felt like my entire body had been engulfed by flames, but I couldn't feel any pain, just pure please.

It was over all to quick when I heard Jamie begin to move the door away from the entrance. I got up very quickly, before Jamie could catch me and Jared on the bed, but Jared wouldn't let me leave his tight embrace. Before Jamie could get into the room I smoothed out my clothes and gave Jared a very quick kiss.

"I've been wanting to do that for so long. I've really missed you." Jared whispered in my ear.

"Me, to" I whisper back, pecking him on the cheek. Jamie walked into the room with several granola bars and large bottle of water. He tossed me a bar and sat down on the edge of the single mattress. He opened a bar for himself and offered Jared one, to which Jared declined. I quickly finished my bar and ate the spare one Jamie had brought. I took a quick swig of water and got up out of Jared lap.

"Where you off to" Jamie asked.

"She's gonna see if she can talk to Ian, right?"

"Absolutely" I agreed

"Well, even though he's not talking he does sleep, so you might want to wait until first light to go and see him." Jamie had just pointed out the obvious. I had totally spaced on the fact that it was sometime around four am, and most people slept until the sun woke them. I had guessed the time from how the sky had lightened just slightly since the last time I looked through the holes in caves.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about the time. I guess I'll wait a while then." I sat back down and Jamie yawned.

"Why don't you get some sleep. I take it Jeb hasn't been letting you slack off with your chores

"No." Jamie said matter – of – factly.

"Good," I replied "then sleep so you can be of some use. Your be no good if you pass out while your job."

"Okay," Jamie said as he pulled of his top and laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. It only took a matter of minutes before I heard the small snores radiate from Jamie.

Jared and I layed back on to out mattress eventually. We layed cuddled up, and I rested my head on his chest. I way running my finger along the planes of his chest when Jared spoke again.

"I love you." he said out of the blew

"I love you too." I said as I pulled my head back to kiss him on the lips. "What was that for?" I ask as I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I don't know. I just haven't said it to you in a while. It feels good to say it." He says as he kisses the top of my head. Just laying here in Jared's arms was my idea of perfection. I would feel fulfilled in my life if I stayed here forever. We layed in each others arms in silence, until Jared begins to snore. The sound it like music to my ears, I heard the sound threw Wanda's ears, but the clarity of the sound in my ears makes this night perfection. I have everything I could ever want, except Wanda, who I would have very soon.

As I see dawn break, I decide that I will go and see Ian now. Even if he's not awake, I'll just wait outside the room until he does wake. I climb out of Jared's arms, making sure I don't wake him. I silently walk down the corridors of the caves as I listen to the sounds of everyone waking. I walk past several rooms and hear chatter, but nobody is out of their rooms yet. Eventually I get the door of Ian's room. I remove the door as quietly as I can, and I find Ian in the furthest corner of the room with the small tank cradled in his arms. He was wide awake and he was just staring at the glowing red light that told people that the tank was in use. He hadn't noticed me, or hadn't wanted to notice me so I walked into the room a little more and announced my presence with a simple "Hello."

_**Thanks for reading. Please review. The more reviews the more I write. I suppose they are kind of inspiration **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx**_


	4. What Now?

_**Disclaimer – I don't own The Host or any of the character. They are all propetry of Stephenie Meyer**_

_**Thanks for reading. Please continue to review, and please suggest any improvements, they are accepted and welcomes and they help me improve as a writer. **_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx **_

"Wanda?" Ian said, disorientated and without looking up from the tank.

"No. It's me, Melanie"

"Get out!"

"I came to ask if you wanted to help find another host for Wanda. Me, Jared and Jamie are going later, at dusk."

"Go. Away." This is going to be harder than I thought, I had to do it. It was the only way.

"I have a message – from Wanda." That was all it took for him to finally up at me. It was just seconds after his eyes met mine that they welled up and spilled over.

"Why?" Ian sobbed. I wasn't sure of what to do at this point, so I acted in a way I would want someone to act if I was in this state.

I slowly walked over to the spot where he was sitting and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and just sat there until his sobs slowed and eventually stopped.

"Why did she leave?" Ian asked when he was able to calm his voice enough not to shout.

"She said she didn't want to be a parasite anymore." I said in my most sympathetic voice.

"You let her! If you had said no, I would have her here with me!" Ian's sadness had quickly transformed into anger, anger directed at me. He shrugged my arms off his shoulders and scooted away from me, as if I had the plague or something.

"No, Ian! I didn't want this. She was lying. I told her to stay, I told her she could have my body. But, she wouldn't listen to me. But you can. You have to believe me, I'm telling the truth." I spurted the words out quickly so that voice wouldn't catch on the lump in my throat but it didn't work. My voice filled with emotion as I tried, so desperately, to convince Ian that I wanted Wanda to stay here.

"Don't try and defend yourself, now that Wanda's not here to defend herself! Okay! Just don't! It's not fair! Now, get out! Your the last person in the entire universe that I want to speak, see or even think about at this moment in time. So just GET OUT!" Ian's voice grew louder and louder and I was worried that we would attract an audience. And, I just wasn't ready to be welcomed back into the community, not when I hadn't had a chance to let go of my fury towards the people who would be most happy to see me. Sharon and Maggie. I was so angry about their attitude towards Wanda, that the mere thought of them made me feel queezy. So, I quickly scrambled to my feet, as to make a quick getaway, but Ian still hadn't answered my question.

"Just answer me this. Do you want to help us pick a host or not?"

"Not. No matter what her body looks like, she'll be the most beautiful creature ever, no matter what." Ian said in a calm voice. "Now, GET OUT!"

"Okay, I'm going. But I promised Wanda I would do what I could to help you, and I will not break a promise, so, I guess, I'll see you again soon." I made my way to the door and walked out. I quickly poked my head back in.

"You know, she really does love you. She would never lie about something like that." I didn't wait for any kind of response. I jogged back to my cave room. I passed a couple of people on the way; Violetta and, I think,Trudy, but I didn't stop to say hi, or introduce myself as Melanie Stryder, no soul invader.

As I got back to my room, Jared and Jamie were still sleeping. I began to lay back down with Jared, but there was knock on the makeshift door.

"Only me." Uncle Jeb said popping his head into the room. I ended up just sitting on the edge of the mattress, so that Jeb could sit with me easily.

"Hi," I said back. "How you doing?"

"I'm good. But more importantly; How are you doing sweetie? I know you must have gotten pretty attached to Wanda. You must be missing her."

"Yeah, I miss her. But I think it will be good to have her as a separate person. That way she can't kiss my Jared anymore, with the excuse that I want it." I laughed aloud and Jeb laughed with me.

"You got a good point there." Jeb said in-between chuckles.

"But, seriously. I don't know if I can face Sharon and Maggie. They've been just horrible to Wanda, even when they knew that I was still here. I think I'll just fly off the hook if they try and say anything. I know it's wrong, there family, but I just makes me so angry!" It felt good to vent, and I knew that Jeb wasn't exactly happy with Sharon and Maggie so I knew he would find it okay.

"I know, honey. Just take your time, and see if they do anything you don't like, come to me. I'll sort them out." He patted me on the shoulder as he spoke. It felt nice to have Jeb there, he was a family member I was thoroughly glad to have back.

"Well, no rest for the wicked. I got work to get done. I'll stop by and talk later. You three don't need to worry about work today. Get reacquainted. I'm sure we'll manage." Before I could protest, he was gone. I really didn't mind working and It might keep me from running in to people I didn't want to see.

Jared quickly woke after Jeb left. He sat up and put his arms around my waist. And with a kiss on the cheek he said morning.

"Hi." I said as I twisted my head so that I could kiss him on the lips.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep. I must have been tired than I thought I was."

"That's cool. It was nice, to just lay there, in your arms. I missed that the most."

"Hey, what about me. Didn't you miss me the most?" Jamie made me jump as his bounce to my side.

"Morning," I said. "Well, of course I missed you the most." I said with humour in my voice.

"Yeah, sure you did." Jamie said in a sarcastic tone, and giggled when he finished.

"Well, I managed to get you out of work today, so we have all day to do whatever. What you wanna do?" I asked, looking at Jared.

"Anything you want." Jared answered.

"Okay, then. Let's eat first." We all got to our feet and began to walk to kitchen area. Me and Jared intertwined, his arm around my waist, and Jamie bounced along the side. We passed a few people and said passing hello's but nobody, not me or the people we were passing, stopped. When we got the kitchen, we sat down, but only Brant and Lily were sitting also. Lily was still grieving for Wes so she just looked like she was fighting back the tears constantly and Brant, well to be perfectly honest, just didn't seem interested by us, so Jared, Jamie and myself sat down, like the little family we used to be when we lived in Jared's shack.

I munched on the edge of a roll, why Jamie caught me up on how he and Jared discovered Jeb down here. It wasn't as exciting, or adventurous, or as challenging as I had thought it to be, but it was still interesting. So, I listened intently, mostly because I wanted to hear the story, and secondly because I wanted to get used the sound of Jamie's voice again. It just wasn't the same to hear it first hand, experiencing everything first hand was going to be difficult to get used to.

I eventually finished my roll and Jared got up, to lead us back to out room. We walked slowly, again intertwined. I figured that I might as well tell them about Ian, even if it was to let them know that he didn't want to raid with us tonight. Which was another topic for conversation, everything needed to be finalized, and we needed a description of what to look for. Something that best complemented Wanda's personality.

"So, I went and saw Ian before you two got up."

"And..." They both prompted.

"And, nothing. He didn't want to see me. He blames me. And I can't say I blame him. I mean, Wanda lied about me demanding my body back, and believed her." I think that had been the only convincing lie that she was able to tell.

"At least you tried." Jared said, as he gave a quick tug at my waist, as to bring me closer.

"Yeah, I suppose. I'm gonna try again. I promised Wanda." I said, as I planned the next time I would go and see him. Would I be extra pushy and try again, in an hour or so, or should I give him time to think and go much later, like just before we leave. I was gonna go for over pushy. "Oh, but I did find out that he doesn't want to come with us. So, It's up to us to find Wanda the perfect host."

We reached the room, and Jamie moved the door, letting me and Jared enter first. We all sat down at the foot of the mattress. It looked like I was going to have to start the conversation about the raid later.

"So, what are we actually going to do when we get out there?"

_**Thanks for reading. Please review, because the more you review the more I write. **_

_**I must admit that I'm not sure where or when the story will end but I'm having so much fun writing it, and it's fun to be in Mel's head, without Wanda, so I'm not sure when I will end.**_

_**xx dazzleme15 xx**_


	5. Qualities

**Disclaimer**** - I don't own the host or any of the characters. they all belong to the brilliant author, Stephenie Meyer. **

**It's kind of a short chapter but I got writers block and couldn't think of much more to add to this part. **

**Hope you like it**

It was a good question and I knew it sounded incredibly simple but I needed to ask it, we would all have to be clued in on what we were looking for.

"Well," Jared began. "We need to know what to look for. So, any ideas?"

"What? You mean, what do we want her to look like?" Jamie asked, his voice full of innocence.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. Mel," He glanced at me. "You have any ideas about what you want her to look like, or be like"

"She needs to be young, but not to young. From what I learned when I was with Wanda, the longer the body had a soul in it, the less chance there is that the body still contains some essence of the previous human that lived in it."

"Okay, so young, but not to young. So say about 17?"

"Yeah, that sound good." I replied.

"Jamie, anything you want?" Jared asked as he looked towards my little brother.

"I'm not sure. I think I would have to see someone to have an opinion. I just think that the host should _look_ like Wanda. You know? Kinda angelic, kinda nice, a little fragile. I don't know" That was the most grown up thing that Jamie had ever said. I felt so proud

"Okay, so I guess we have to wait till we go out to find what you want." Jared said, suppressing a little giggle.

"No, Jamie can't come! It's to dangerous. Look what happened last time." I protested

"What?" Jamie whined

"Don't whine at me. You nearly died that last time you went on a raid, you can't possibly think I would let you go this time." Jamie just pouted at me and then turned his eyes to meet Jared's. "And don't look at Jared for answers. Your my little brother, so I get the final say."

"Mel, please" Jamie asked.

"Mel, go on. It's for Wanda. I'll keep him safe. No knifes." Jared chuckled at his last words. Great, I had the two of them ganging up on me, I couldn't say no to both of them. So I gave in, unwillingly.

"Okay." I sighed

"Thanks." Jamie said as he practically pounced on me to give me a hug.

"That okay." I answered. "Anyways, back to Wanda." I prompted.

"Right. So far we have young but not to young, and kinda angelic, and nice, and kinda

fragile looking."

"What do you want Jared, from a host I mean?

"I'm thinking practically here, but she needs to have a face that no one can distrust. She

can't look like she could possibly pose any danger."

"Right. We have a personality, but no looks in particular." I stated. " I mean, blonde, brunette? Tall, short? What?"

"I say, we get out there and look for the qualities we have so far, and build on the look later." Jared said.

"Okay, so when do we leave?" Jamie asked, enthusiastically.

"Dusk." Jared said

"How long is that?" I asked, wondering if I had enough time to go and see Ian again.

"About 2 hours." Jared answered

"Okay, I'm gonna go and see Ian. I made Wanda a promise and I'm gonna try and keep it. I'll be back in time for us to leave."

"Get back a little before. We should eat and double check our preparations before we leave." Jared said, and I'm not sure, but I think that I heard disapproval in his voice. Why would he be disapproving? I mean, it was a stupid question to ask, and I can't believe that I had to ask myself that question. He didn't think that I should go and see Ian. I mean the real question I should have asked myself, was; Is he jealous?

I would have thought a lot better of him, how could he possibly be jealous of Ian. I mean, I guess Wanda had a thing for him, and she was in my body, but he should know that I could only love him. I had told him enough times, and I hoped he knew. I came back to him, I went to the trouble of getting Wanda here, just so that I could see him again. He must know, he must know that I could only ever love him.

I realised that I was just standing, and that I had to say something or leave. I really couldn't be asked to get into the whole 'I love you and no one else' thing with Jared, so I settled for leaving. I walked over to the make shift door and pushed it aside.

"See you in a bit. I won't be long. I promise." I didn't give anyone a chance to respond, as I quickly ducked out of the doorway. The halls were a little busy now, I didn't stop and talk to anyone, although a few 'hellos' were shouted to me as I walked, quickly, to Ian's cave.

As I got to Ian's cave, nothing much had changed, I entered and he hadn't moved an inch. He still clung to the Cryotank and rested his forehead on the top of the box. Again, I announced myself with another quite "Hi"

**I have a terrible writers block and can not think of what to do next, so if you review please leave any suggestions of how I can continue. **

**Reviews are inspiration so review and maybe my block will disappear **

**thanks for reading **


	6. Author's Note

_**Authors note **_

_Sorry it's not a new chapter._

_I have been having trouble writing this story, so I thought I should take a little break. Sorry if you are following my updates but I just have a serious case of writers block when I try and start to write this again. _

_Again, I'm sorry this isn't a new chapter, but I am just gonna have to give this story a break. I have other ideas that I want to develop so I'm gonna focus on them. _

_I will finish this story, but I'm not sure when._

_Sorry xx_


	7. Comfort

**Disclaimer - I don't own the host or any of the characters. they all belong to the brilliant author, Stephenie Meyer. **

**Finally I found myself a little inspired and decided to write a little. I can't say for certian that I wil get other chaters out qucikly but I'm starting to get back in to writing. Hopefully, the block has gone for good. **

Ian remained silent and just continued to stare at the tank in his arms. I hadn't expected much more, I had basically killed the _woman _he loved. But, I was trying to fix it and I never said that it was okay for Wanda to do such a thing. I had wanted her to stay in my body, I had told her so. Ian knew it. He even said that she was lying at the 'trial' that we hold for her.

"Ian, I know you're mad, but please just talk to me." I was begging. I wanted to keep my promise to Wanda, no matter what. And however long it took for me, Jared and Jamie to get a knew host I would make sure someone, even if it wasn't me, was here to look after him. This time, he glanced at me but I still got no reply.

"Look, I know you're made. I am too. This is not my fault. It was Wanda. I had absolutely no hand in what she did. If I could have stopped her, I would have. But I couldn't. I wish I could have. Believe me. I would have given my life. In fact I did offer her my life so that she could stay. She wouldn't accept my offer." I was babbling now. Talking a load of old rubbish, but I had to get it out. I just had to. I couldn't talk to Jared; he was just so happy that I was back. Jamie was just as ecstatic and I couldn't put that kind of emotional pressure on him. He may be old enough to handle it now, but I jut couldn't. I was putting my all into not bursting out in tears. That wouldn't help matter. Would it? Maybe, if Ian could see how sad I actually was he would believe me about Wanda. No. I wouldn't let him see me like that. I wouldn't. I wouldn't help him.

"Mad!" he burst out saying. "Mad? You think I'm mad? I have moved right past mad about an hour after I found out what she had done. I'm just..." He began his sentence if a raised voice but finished it in a hushed voice that was wavering. He was really upset and I could hear it in his voice.

"Just what?" I pushed him for an answer. If I could get him to talk about it, maybe I would have a chance of looking out for him, as I had promised Wanda.

"Just... everything." He sobbed. He let all his pretences go and sobbed very loud. "I can't handle it. It's too much. I feel every emotion that I never thought I would feel. Emotion I only have read about, or have seen on TV. It's to intense. Everything is hitting me all at once. Sadness, depression, grief, terror, fear, rage, annoyance, love, admiration, jealousy."

"Jealousy?"

"Yeah. I'm jealous of her. I'm an actually jealous of her. She gets to escape all this. The crappy world, the violence. The emotions. Everything. She gets to escape it all, and I am stuck here, in a cave, with a tank as my only comfort."

"Admiration?" I just wanted to keep him talking. It was almost a comfort. Knowing I was doing what Wanda had asked me to do.

"I admire her strength. And you." He muttered the last words. I barely caught them.

"Me?" I was shocked. I thought he hated me.

"Yeah. You're here. .. You know I'm angry at you. And I have no reason to be. But I just can't help it. I just have to direct it at someone, and you're the only person to actually get me talking." I moved out of the door way of his cave and walked closer. Slowly, just in case he protested. He didn't.

I slipped down and sat next to him and rested my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm just doing what she asked. But, even if I hadn't promised her I would be here. You loved her. She was a good as my sister. Even though you hate me, I still got a connection when I was listening to you and Wanda. I consider you a friend, even if you don't see me as one."I wasn't sure that I was making sense but I had to tell him. Being with Wanda when she experienced all this with him, I began to like him. Not _like _him. But I could defiantly see us being friends.

"I don't hate you."

"you must, I hate myself."

"Why?" He had stopped crying now.

"I should have done something. I should have stopped her." It was my turn to cry. Everything from our last moments together came back to me, like a wave. And now I understood what Ian said when he felt everything. I also felt admiration for Wanda, admiration for her strength. I hated her. Well, hate is a strong word, but it fits. And I suppose it's the decision I hate, not her. Why did she have to go and do that? Why was she so noble? Why? Why?

Ian took it upon himself to comfort me and gently placed a hand on my shoulder as I had done with him earlier.

"Nobody could have stopped her. She was determined to do it. Don't blame yourself. " he looked down at the cryotank. "Just don't blame you self." He repeated.

"Look, last chance," I whispered after I managed to calm myself down. "We're leaving in a minute. Do you want to come with us?"

"No." He said a little to harshly. "No, sorry. But thanks anyway. I don't care what she looks like. As long as you get her a host quick. I need her back. I need her." His voice grew quiter as he ended his speech. He was also now clinging to the tank with all his strenght.

I would do everything in my power to get Wanda back to him. Everything. I would stop at nothing. I would get her back. I needed her back too. She was my sister, or as good as anyway and we had spent so much time in each others company, even if it was forced company. I needed her company now. I missed her like a leg or a foot. That may sound wierd but after being in her head it was like having a part of you missing.

**Did you like? I hope so. **

**That block really made it tough. I couldn't write anything. Not even good essay for school. I'm so glad that it's lifted. **

**Please review. They really do inspire me. It's so humbling when it's nice. **

**Hope you enjoyed!!!**


	8. Reunite

**Disclaimer - I don't own the host or any of the characters. They all belong to the brilliant author, Stephenie Meyer. **

I had made my way back to Jared and Jamie and made sure that I had cleaned myself up. I couldn't let Jared see me like this. He would get the wring idea and think that Ian had made me cry. He would fly off the handle and I wouldn't have a chance to explain that I made myself cy. I let myself remember the final goodbye.

Anyway, before I let myself get all teary eyed again, I met Jamie and Jared at our cave. Jared must have seen some difference despite my efforts. He just stared into my eyes and I stared back. It was like a wordless conversation. My eyes practically begged him to not say anything. I just wanted to pretend everything was normal. It worked. He remained silent.

I went and sat next to Jared and he took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I squeezed it in return. I suppose it was our way of reassuring each other.

"So, when do we go?" I asked, eagerly.

"Soon. Lets grab some food. Jamie and I already got the raid stuff ready a little while ago. So we are all set."

"Awesome." Though that word probably wasn't the right one, it was the only one I could come up with. All three of us walked to the kitchens. It was... bizarre. I think that's the only word I could use to describe it. I knew this place, I knew these places well. But it was like I had never really seen them. Like I, me personally, had never been here. Like I said, it was bizarre. Almost to bizarre to put words to.

We didn't see any people until we had to cross the common area. All conversations came to an abrupt end as we stepped into view. All work stopped. Everyone stared at me. Why? I have no idea. But I knew that I had to get out of there. I wasn't one for drawing attention to myself and I wasn't the kind of person that didn't like the odd bit of attention but this kind of attention was just making me plain uncomfortable.

I gave Jared hand a squeeze and he understood. He picked up his walking pace and we exited the room of the staring people. I was now more nervous about living here, as Mel I mean. The stares were nothing similar to what Wanda had received on her arrival but they gave me the same frightened and unnerved feeling.

"You okay?" Jared asked.

"Yeah." I left it there. Unable to explain why I felt frightened to, even, myself, I didn't want to have to try and explain it to Jared, especially with Jamie there.

"Okay," he muttered and then we continued to walk in silence until we got to the kitchens. We had to eat fast to avoid the rush of people that would enter soon. It was nearly the end of the working day, at least that's what I picked up by the light that was dimming when we walked through the main hall area.

Jamie and me sat down and Jared went to get us some soup and rolls. The two people that were working were not as obvious as the people who stopped everything before. They paused a little when we entered but continued to knead the bread only seconds after that. They didn't stare, they just glanced over at me every few minutes. It still felt uneasy but not frightened as I had before.

Jared returned with soup and we ate quickly. We didn't speak at all. Just as we finished I heard the influx of people coming. I tried to get up quickly and got ready to leave but Jamie pulled me back down to my seat.

"Talk to them. They'll love you." He was so grown up. I couldn't believe it. His life had flown by. He wasn't me dawky little brother anymore, he's turning in to a man. I swear, he has moments where he's more mature and adult than me. Now being one of the those moments. I just looked at him and smiled. A few people were in the kitchens now but more were coming. I felt eyes on me. I looked up at saw that Doc was the first person to sit down. Shortly followed by Sharon and Maggie. I could not deal with them. Doc sat by us and I hoped that the situation between Sharon and Doc would stop Sharon from sitting with us as well. It didn't and they sat down. Smiling, no less. SMILING! Can you believe it. They have the audacity to smile. After all the heartless things they have done to Wanda. I couldn't believe it. I was holding all this anger back. But, if they spoke and tried all the pleasantries, I would burst. I didn't want that. I don't think. I wanted to shout at Sharon and Maggie, but that would just make people stare more. So, I held back. But for how long I could do that. That was up for debate.

**Sorry, it's a babbling chapter. I tried to take the babble down, but when I did, it seemed empty. So, it's a babbling chapter. **

**Enjoyed it? Yes, then review **

**Please, review review. They really are inspiration. Humbling, even.**

**Hope you enjoyed it!!!**


	9. AN Sorry

**Sorry - not a chapter, but there will be one soon.**

**Hi all,**

**Good news - I had my next 2 chapter all written up and saved to my memory pen. **

**Bad news - I'm having issues finding said memory pen. **

**I think I'm gonna give up looking and declare it lost but that means that I'll have to write the chapters again. **

**I don't mind, I remember what they were like but it will take me a while. **

**Sorry, again. But I will update soon.**

**X dazzled me X**


	10. scream out loud

**Disclaimer – I do not own the host or any related characters and settings. I just like playing around with the fantastic characters that Stephenie Meyer has created. **

**I found the memory pen. So here's the next chapter. **

**Have you all heard about the movie? That's right. The movie rights to the book have been purchased. How awesome is that! I always thought that it would make a good movie, now we get to see. **

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter...**

"Hi Mel," doc said.

"Hi," I answered giving him a slight smile.

"Feeling well I presume," he said

"Very well, thanks"

"Good, good." And the conversation ended there. If it could even be classed as a conversation. We fell into a very uncomfortable silence. Maggie and Sharon just stared at me and smiled. And, I still couldn't believe that they were smiling. Jared just placed his hand lightly on my leg as a sign of comfort, and nothing more. Jamie seemed oblivious to it all, and continued to eat his food.

I think Maggie must have been trying to convince herself to talk because her mouth opened and closed a quite a few times. She finished her meal without a word, and Sharon followed in suit. Doc finished his meal, and got up and left. That left me, Jared, Jamie, Sharon and Maggie. Jamie had also finished his meal and was looking at me impatiently. He expected me to talk to them! After everything they have done to me, well not me, but you know what I mean.

"So, how was work today?" Jamie said, looking at Sharon. Of course, he chooses now to play devils advocate and try and get us all to be _one big happy family. _ Not gonna happen.

"Fine, thanks. What happened to you?"

"Jeb gave us some time off. For Mel." He gave me a nudge.

"Oh, yeah. I remember him say something about that." Maggie chimed in, pleasantly. I couldn't take it. All the pleasantries were getting to me. It was like taking the pin out of grenade. It was only a matter of time before I exploded. I stood up abruptly. Shocking Jamie and the two people, who I can now say, will never be part of my family again. I've said it before. Hate is a strong word. It applies here. In the purest form of the word. I hate them!

"I can't do this," I said looking at Jared, he understood. He didn't even jump when I got up. He could feel the tension and he knew why I was being like this.

"Mel," Sharon started, but that was all she said.

"NO!" I shouted, too loudly. We had an audience now. I started again. "No! Don't even speak too me. Not after what you've done. After what you've been like. It was me still. I was there, even when you knew, you still continued with the vendetta. And now, she's gone. And I'm sure that you are very pleased about that. But I'm not. I can't be. She was my friend. She proved her loyatly to you. She took care a Walter and fell in love with Ian. She belongs here. She belongs here more than you do. She is more human than you. She is kind, she shows compassion. You do not! And I am ashamed that you are part of my family. I'm ashamed that I ever went to look for you," I was now getting louder. And at this point, I didn't care who was watching. I just needed to get it out. Express my true emotions. Grieve, I suppose. That's one of the five stages. Anger. Well I was angry. Actually, angry was a nice word for what I felt like. I was fuming, annoyed, irritated, furious, enraged, mad, and ferocious. I was glad to be finally getting it out. It had been like a day, and a day to long at that. I don't do the whole bottle up your emotions thing. Well, maybe I did when it came to the whole crying bit, but anger. Anger always escaped me. I always had to let it out.

"She was my friend! And she's my family. She means more to me than you to do, and ever will again." Then a sudden thought came to me. If this is how I react to Sharon and Maggie. How will I react when I see Kyle? He tried to kill her, me, us. If the anger took over me like it had now, then I'll probably try and kill him and see how he likes it. I know, I know. Two wrongs don't make a right. But it my current state of mind, I do not care. If were doing the whole cliché thing, then and eye for and eye fits in this situation.

Maggie and Sharon were looking at me is disbelief as I turned and went to storm out of the kitchens. Jared followed. Jamie stayed. I don't think Jamie will be asking me to talk to anymore of them. I was still fuming as I walked out of the kitchens. Jared was a few steps behind me.

"Mel, wait. Slow down" he said. I turned. I was mad. Not just mildly made, but full on 'I'm gonna kill someone' mad. And Jared was just standing there. I still had anger to get out. He was the only one here, I knew I would regret it later but I did it anyway.

"And you," I screamed. "You're no better. You must have known I was there. You kissed her. You kissed me. Twice, no less." Angry tears were filling my eyes and I was now standing directly in front of Jared. I slapped him on the chest in an angry way.

"You. You hit me. You showed me know kindness, you hurt me. You broke my heart. I was dying inside when you hit me." I continued to slap, and hit, and punch his chest as it let everything out. The tears were now streaming down my face.

"You! You! You showed her no compassion. She was kind and nice, and everything that a human should be. She was as good as human. She got me here. She turned her back on world full of her people to help me. She's the most selfless person I knew. She is impossible to not like. She does everything that a human should." I was sobbing now. I was in mourning. I missed Wanda, like I would miss a hand or a foot. I needed her. She was my closes friend and I loved her. I had continued to hit Jared but with no force behind it. He put his arms around me and let me cry. I wept in his arms for what seemed like a lifetime. He just held me there, comforting me. Say nothing. Feeling guilty no doubt. I didn't mean for that you happen. He was all I had right now, and I loved him. More than anything, I loved him.

"sorry," he whispered as my sobs subsided a little.

"me to," I managed to say in between my sobs. I was fighting for control of my emotions. One minute I feel as if I could kill someone, the next I feel as if I can't do anything. Like I'm just to worn out, emotionally, to be able to feel anything. All in all, now, I felt numb. Nothing was there. I had lost my _sister_ and my best friend. I assaulted the love of my life. I probably just scared Jamie half to death with the shouting, at my family. I would apologise to Jamie, but Maggie and Sharon would never get an apology out of me. Never.

I had held a little bit of anger back when I was shouting at Jared, and Maggie and Sharon. Just enough to shout at Kyle. To make him feel guilty, in the wrong. And after shouting, and blaming him. He would never get an apology.

I managed to stop crying, but Jared never let go. And if I was being honest, I didn't want him to. I slowly recovered form my numb emotional state, and feeling were coming back to me. Love swelled in my heart. Then sadness and grief took over that. I was slowly getting back to the state I was in before I went to the kitchens.

**This chapter is a little be longer than the other. Not by to much though. **

**Enjoyed it???? Review then. **

**Reviews are like payment. They make me want to write more. They are so humbling and I love them. **


	11. Perfect

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything. Not the characters, not he settings. Nothing. *Sigh* If only?**

"Sorry," I muttered again.

"You have every right to be angry." Jared replied.

"I know. But, this is all my fault." I sobbed, beginning to feel the tears reappear in my eyes.

"How is this your fault?" He asked

"I convinced Wanda to come here. Convinced her to find you and Jamie. And all that did was hurt her." These words came out in a rambling as fast tone.

"Mel, slow down. What do you mean?"

"I played Wanda memories of us so that she would help me find you and Jamie, so I could be sure that you were okay. That made her fall in love with you. Then we got here, and she got beat, and nearly killed."

"Sorry," Jared interrupted

"She only did that because of me. And, as if that wasn't bad enough. You broke her heart... through no fault of your own... and then she fell in love with Ian. It must have killed her to have to leave him and now she's gonna be mad when she gets back because of those stupid promises she made with Doc." I was in floods of tears now.

"Mel. Not to be rude or anything," Jared began "Don't you think all of these things are a bit of a stretch. I mean, think about optimistically. If you hadn't have convinced Wanda to come. Right. What would have happened then?" I felt Jared press his lips to my hair, and then I looked up at him.

"I don't know!" I cried

"I do," he went on to say. "She would have never met Jamie, and she loves him like a brother. She would have you as a best friend. She would have known what it's like to be in love. She would have never had the pleasure of meeting Ian and, if I'm being selfish, we wouldn't be together right now. And I'm glad we are. I went crazy when you weren't here. I mean, if you thought I was crazy when Wanda arrived, you haven't seen anything. I pretty much just walked around like an empty shell case. Ask Jamie, he wasn't much better. We both missed you, and I'm glad that Wanda got you here. I'm not saying don't have regrets, I do. Like shunning you for so long. But don't let the bad things weigh out the good. It's not worth it." That was deep, even for Jared. He had his moments, his emotionally vulnerable moments, but this was like nothing I had heard before. Only one moment in our time together can compare to this, and that was when he told me that he loved me. That day is the happiest day of my life, and would remain the happiest day forever. It felt so loved, and he never let me feel anything but that after. He was sweet, romantic and... perfect. That night made me fall in love all over again, but in fell twice as hard. And haven't stopped falling since. I love him more everyday, and he's right. I'm glad were together, and I can't regret that, but still, I caused Wanda so much pain, for my own selfish needs.

"Wow," I muttered under my breath, hoping Jared wouldn't hear and want an explanation but he heard. _Darn!_ I thought to myself.

"What?" he asked, kissing the top of my head again.

"Nothing," I said, hoping to get away with it. He just laughed and asked again.

"I said... wow,"

"Why?"

"Because... wow," I couldn't explain it. It would make me sound all mushy and that just wasn't our normal routine.

"What's wow?"

"You," I hoped that was enough

"That's flattering, but why?" he asked again. He had gotten a lot more persistent.

"Your just amazing. I mean, I basically attack you and blame you for beating Wanda and you just stand there and take it. Then you come out with something like that. I think that deserves a wow. Don't you?"

"Well, no to toot my own horn," he laughed. "but yeah" I laughed as well, he wasn't being arrogant, he was just trying to cheer me up. It worked. God, I really loved this man.

"I love you," I said, placing a kiss on his chest, through his top.

"You have no idea," he replied, kissing my forehead. I titled my head up and smiled. I pressed up on my tip-toes and kissed him on the lips. With passion, but with coolness. With all the lust, but with all the love in the world. I kissed him and began to walk him up against the wall. When his back hit the wall, I pushed myself up against him, craving his touch everywhere. We hadn't a lot of opportunities to be alone since I was back, and I missed him and showed this with my kiss. I pulled away, gasping for breath, but his lips never left my skin. He kissed along my jaw and down my neck and back up to my ear.

"Maybe we should go back to our room." He whispered in my ear. I made no attempt to answer, knowing that I was to worked up to form words. I nodded and kissed him on the lips again. He had to break the kiss, and I was a little annoyed that he did. He took my hand and began to lead me back down the hall.

I stopped abruptly, remembering our responsibilities.

"Wait," I said, pulling him to a stop.

"What?" he asked

"We can't"

"Why?" he asked, bewildered.

"Because, of Wanda and Jamie."

"Don't worry," he muttered. "Jamie knows that you should be alone. That was quite a scene and he's not stupid. He'll stay with Doc, or find Jeb. And, we have a few hours before we can leave for Wanda."

"But... earlier, you said to get back quickly. From talking to Ian I mean." A guilty looked passed over his face, then he smiled.

"What?" I demanded, knowing he was holding something back.

"Well, I kinda lied." He continued. "I just wanted you all to myself, and I made sure Jamie would be gone. I thought that we could use some time alone together."

"What?" I said again. Unsure weather to be happy, or pissed off at him. On one hand, we really could use some time together, physically. But lying to me to get it, that wasn't good in my book/.

"Sorry, I just. I wanted you."

"So you lied... to get sex."

"No!" he shouted. "I mean, no." He said a little quieter.

"that's what it sounds like."

"Well, you're hearing in wrong then. I wanted top be alone with you, nothing more. I just wanted us to have some time together. No matter what happened."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. Of course. Mel, I don't _need _sex when were alone. I thought you knew that about me." I nodded as he pulled me into his arms.

"Sorry, I over reacted."

"That's okay. So, can we go? Just standing here is kinda dumb when we can have a whole room to ourselves."

"Yeah. Let's go." We walked side by side, hand in hand. He said a few funny things and I laughed. We just enjoyed being with each other. I enjoyed being together, emotionally. But, right now, I wanted it physically as well. We weren't far from the room, when we got to an empty corridor. I quickly took advantage of us being alone and pushed him against the wall, again. I kissed him, again, passionately, with lots of lust. He was a little shocked at first but when he realised what was happening he kissed me back. His lustfulness retuning mine. The kiss grew deeper and deeper until we both pulled away gasping for air. I giggled a little when he looked at me with those questioning eyes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the wall and towards the room. We walked quickly, running even. We got to the room, and opened the makeshift door quickly. We walked in, and he was right, Jamie had stayed away. We closed the door quickly and then he pushed me up against the cave wall. He kissed my mouth, then along my jaw and down my neck. I pushed me back a little and led him over to the mattress. This was going to be perfect, I thought.

**Well? **

**Love it?? Yeah! Then review...**

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	12. raid

**I'm gonna start on a sad note... sorry for that. I'm gonna put this story on hold, indefinitely. I'm so swamped at the moment, and I've got major writing block for this story again. I've got some other ideas for writing and I want to pursue them plus I have a major amount of school work and I have two jobs. You can only imagine how busy I am. One again, I'm sorry. I have been trying to get this chapter our for so long and if I do update then it won't be often. I will try and get back into it but I just don't seem to have the ideas to finish it. **

**If you've been enjoying my writing and like Twilight, then check out some of my other fics on my profile. **

**Once again, I'm so sorry. Here's the chapter....**

I laid in Jared's arms as he gently stroked my back. It was perfect. Just being together again. It made me realise just how much I missed him, all of him. We had been lying there for a about an hour, when Jared said that we had to get Jamie and prepare to leave. I really didn't want to have to leave the comfort of his arms but I had to, I had to save Wanda. And Ian for that matter.

"I'll go find Jamie," Jared said as he pulled a t-shirt on.

"Okay," I replied, with the biggest smile on my face.

"Meet us at the canteen in 30 minutes?"

"Sure," I replied, still ecstatically happy. Jared was now fully dressed and walked over to me, where I was dressing. He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"I love you," he said, as he pulled away.

"I love you too," I said, leaning in to give him another kiss.

"I'll see you soon," he said, and he left to go find Jamie. I quickly got dressed and headed out of the cave room. I probably looked silly to everyone, but I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. I was happy, and I didn't want to hide that. I walked along the makeshift corridors, looking around me, really seeing it for the first time. I took in every detail with my own eyes and because of my mood, thought about just how wonderful this place was. I probably wasn't up to much in the way of modern architecture, and it was probably unsafe. But the old stone was beautiful, at least to me. Maybe it was just my mood. My extremely happy mood. I was walking along so absentmindedly that I bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I said quickly, before I saw who it was. I looked up and saw it was Kyle. He had his head down and muttered a 'that's okay,' back to me, as he tried to get past me as fast as possible. Maybe he heard what I said to Sharon and Maggie, or was told about it, and knew that he had something worse coming. He was much more horrible to Wanda than them. He should expect much worse.

"Do you know what?" I said, loudly and angrily. "I'm not sorry."

"Okay." He said, quietly, whilst turning to face me. He still hadn't looked me in the eye.

"Don't be a coward!" I said, trying to hold back my anger. His presence had quickly shot down my happy mood.

"I'm not." He said.

"Then look at me!" I yelled. He lifted his eyes. "You are the most despicable person I have ever come across. You disgust me!" I wasn't holding back, or waiting for any reply on his behalf.

"You think that you have a right to take the life of another person, potentially two people. You think you have the right to ignore the rules made by the people who live down here. "

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Sorry? You think that cuts it? You are the most hypocritical person I know. I know what you've done with Jodi and Sunny. You use people for your own benefit. Sunny, she loves you. She can't help that, Jodi loved you so she does, and you're jut using her for you're own benefit. And you have the audacity to do that after you tried to kill Wanda. She should have let you die. That was you could have done no more harm to the world. You are worse than all those souls, even the ones that could be evil. You are less human than anyone down here and YOU have no right to be here. You're a selfish person, and have no right to be on the planet. The souls have more right than you!" I spat the words at him, as I made sure they were filled with hatred, and I meant every single word."

"Melanie, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry."

"You don't have to say anything. You have to do something. Stop being such a coward and a hypocrite. Start dealing with the fact that you've got to live in this situation and leave the anger behind. And never, ever, try and touch Wanda again. Because I swear to God, if you come within 5 foot of that girl when she gets back, I will personally hand you back over to the souls, maybe you can be trapped in your own mind when it's not yours anymore. Maybe you should suffer." On that note I just carried on walking. I didn't look back but I was pretty sure he was frozen on the spot. I was in a completely different league to Wanda. I wouldn't hide form that ass. I would give what's for and make sure he was remorseful for his idiotic actions. I had a little time to kill so I went back to my admiration for the wonderful work Jeb had done. That... thing – he couldn't be called human or a man for that matter – wasn't going to ruin my day. I was going to be damn happy again, no matter what. I walked slowly towards the canteen, not running into anyone else. I got a few stares as I passed the common room, but nothing vicious, more curious if you ask me. I got to the canteen and saw Jared and Jamie waiting for me. Also, I saw Ian. I smiled at him, and noticed that he was still clinging to his tank.

I walked up to Jared and gave him a kiss. I said hi to Jamie and apologised for my scene earlier. He dismissed it saying that it was awesome and that he loved have the real me back. He quickly added that he loved Wanda, but she was just so timid that he enjoyed having the feisty me back. I chuckled as he said this, knowing it was all true. He really did love Wanda, and I knew he wouldn't be truly happy until we got her back. I walked over to Ian.

"You decided to come?" I asked.

"No, I just wanted to say thanks, and see you off," he said. "If that's okay?"

"That's fine. You'll have her back soon, everyone will."

"Thanks," he gave a timid smile, and slowly exited the room.

"That was nice," Jared said, coming over to me and wrapping his arms around me. I twisted me head so that I could kiss him and I let the kiss go a little too far considering that Jamie was present.

"Ewww." He said, making a vomit motion.

"Sorry," I said. I stepped out of Jared's arms, knowing that being in them would only make me want to kiss him again.

"Are we ready to go?" Jamie asked, obviously eager.

"Yep," Jared replied. He motioned for three rucksacks on the floor, and we all walked over a grabbed one. Mine was obviously lighter, though I could probably carry as much as Jared.

"I'm not so weak you know," I said laughing.

"I don't care." Jared said, laughing also. "You'll need your strength when we get back," he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Okay. Disgusting" Jamie said. "I so need another room. I can not possible share with you two, or Wanda and Ian. I'm screwed." He said, again making the vomiting motion. Jared and I just laughed and walked towards the exit. In the next couple of days, we'd have Wanda.

**You like? Well, review then. **

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	13. Seperatly Together

**Guess what? An update. I know it's shocking right. I had to check to see if I had a fever. This just isn't like me. **

**All joking aside, I hope you like it. I'm going to say, and it's sad to say, that I think this is the last chapter. **

**I may do a sequel, or something. But, I this is where I planed to have the story end, so here it is. It's much longer than normal. I was going to split it, but I'm always being told to make it longer, so I'm making it longer. Shame it took me to the last chapter. I hope you enjoy. **

We made our way to the jeep quickly, and relatively easily. We piled everything into the back, and decided that Jared could drive. He was more experience and all that, on desert terrain. We drove, hopefully, inconspicuously to the nearest town. We would search for a day or two. Find someone, and then watch them. Learn there habits and so on. We talked about the plan, all be it very briefly, but still we talked.

When we got to a place that somewhat represented civilisation, we hid the jeep and decided to sleep in it. We did not want to go through the risks of staying in a motel, or whatever. When we hit town, the sun was setting and almost everyone was at home already. The routine that these things held was odd. Nothing exciting, nothing random, just routine, routine, routine. Strange. Jamie took the back seat, and was asleep almost immediately.

"You okay?" Jared asked, taking my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah," I lied, unconvincingly. He quickly looked back towards Jamie, who, as I said before, was snoring lightly. Fast asleep. Jared shifted, and pulled me into his arms.

"What's wrong?" he whispered into my ear.

"I don't know," I said, honestly. "I'm just so messed up. I love Wanda, but she doesn't want this. What if she ends up hating me? Or you? Or Jamie? Or Ian. I can't have that on my shoulder."

"What if we don't so this?" he asked. "Ian would have nobody. Jamie would lose her, you would lose her. I'll admit it, I'm quite fond of her as well." he chuckled.

"But what if she hates me?"

"She may for a day or two, but she'll get over it."

"How do you know?"

"She was part of you. You must have grown on her a bit. She loves you. You can't not love you, baby."

"What if she doesn't love me? You seem sure she does,"

"Like I said, you can't not love you. You're sweet, kind, and beautiful and I don't know what I would do without you. When you were gone, I barely got by. It was only Jamie that kept me with it. Sometimes, I couldn't look at him. It hurt. He's so much like you."

"I'm sure it's the snore right?" I giggled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Something like that," Jared chuckled. We both laughed for a little while longer, before Jared was serious again. "She'll be okay. She won't hate you."

"Thank you. I needed that,"

"It's what I'm here for," he beamed.

***

The next morning, we drove around the neighbourhood, scouting, as Jared called it. He was never one for sensitivity. Everything had a plan, and a business element to it. I felt like I was on a film set of something. That's what they do right, scout locations to film it. It was bizarre to say the least. We failed. Nobody did fitted what we wanted. We could be here longer than expected. It was supposed to take a day to find someone, three days to watch, learn etc and a day to get back. I hoped we found someone tomorrow. I can't handle sleeping in that Jeep much longer. It's uncomfortable.

Everyone was too old, or the wrong size or the wrong gender. I never thought it was so hard.

***

The next day, we searched again. Me and Jamie walked around together, and Jared walked around alone. I didn't want to separate, the risks was huge, but he was insistent.

It was around midday when it happened. It sounds dramatic, and it was, in the moment. Jamie gave my had a squeeze, but didn't say a word. He just lifted a free hand, and pointed towards a young girl who was sitting in the grass, reading. She was beautiful. She has a youthful innocence about her. She was around 17, and had a copy of a book in her hands. I couldn't see what it was, and I'm sure it was a weird soul kind of book. Peace and happiness, no drama, and all that rubbish. She was perfect. She was young enough, female and just had that Wanda look. She could be a Wanda, she could be our Wanda. Me and Jamie watched her for the rest of the day. She didn't move form the grass until the sun began to set. She quickly scrambled to her feet, and walked off. We followed. Staying out of the way. Not making it look like we were creepy stalkers. She got a to a nice house, and knocked. An older woman, who looked a little like her, opened the door and gave her a hug. The young girl walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Wow," Jamie said.

"I know. Lets go find Jared." We had planned to meet Jared at the Jeep as it got dark. It would be strange to walk around at night. Souls didn't do that. Jamie and I hurried back to the Jeep hoping Jared would already be there. He was luckily.

"Hey," he greeted, calmly, and almost sadly.

"Hi," I breathed excitedly. I looked at Jamie, who was grinning excitedly.

"What's up?" Jared asked, cautiously.

"We did it." Jamie said.

"Did what?"

"We found her."

"What?" Jared said a little confused. For a reasonably smart guy, he could be pretty dense.

"There was this girl, in the grass, reading, and she was perfect." Jared didn't say anything for a while. Eventually we all sat in the Jeep and talked about her. It seemed horrible to talk about her like she was an object. She was human, at least is the physical sense. Her mind was a soul, but her body was human, and always would be. Jared wanted to know everything we observed. Her appearance. Her mannerism. What she was doing. He seemed impressed. He spoke about everything in a business like manner. We made a plan. Jamie was all for it. I was a little hesitant, but I was up for it as well. I just wanted Wanda back. I missed her like crazy. You do become oddly attached to things you have in you mind 24/7. I internally laughed at this. I hated her at first, hate may be to nice, but I love her now. It's strange how things evolve, isn't it?

We planned everything, down to a tee. It seemed flawless. I just hoped it would be.

***

We watched her for three days. She had a very refined routine. She would be on her way home just was the sun was setting. It appeared that she needed to be home before the sun had set completely. She had a _mom, _which was the only thing that was holding me back. I didn't want to separate them. I hated that this had to happen. Jared had to convince me that we had to do this.

"She will move on quickly," he had said. "she's a soul, it's her nature." She may be a soul, but I think we were having a much bigger effect on every single one of them, than any would like to admit. Our emotions hit with such intensity when we were ourselves, so to someone, or something that has never experienced anything like it would be changed quickly and irreversibly. Wanda proved this, didn't she? She was just brave enough to accept that we could change her.

We had a plan. Everything was worked out down to a tee. We would separate. I would go up to her, ask her for directions. I was less conspicuous, and less intimidating. I had a scar. She should trust me enough for me to get her to the alley that was near her home. Jared would knock her out, and get her to the car. And that would be that. We'd get her home, and have Wanda.

If only it was that simple. My mind and heart went out to her _mom. _This was going to break her heart. From the 3 times I had seen them together, they obviously loved one another. Her _mom _was overprotective, just like every mother was. It was lovely to watch, and my own heart was breaking for her _mother_. I tried to believe Jared, that she would get over it, but would she?

The question would be answered, when we had her. We wouldn't know the answer, we wouldn't stick around. I was being selfish, and I couldn't be sorry about that. I would break one heart but fix many. It's a horrid reason, and I'm ashamed but not sorry. I want Wanda, I want my sister, and I would get her back. Not just for me, though it was a point that I did want her back for me, but for Ian. He can't live like he is. He can't hold that tank forever. He had to move on, and he can do that once Wanda's back. They can be together truly and forever. They can be a true couple. Does it make me sick? To want this, I mean. Is it wrong to separate them? The mother and daughter. They had done to us. They had royally screwed up this world, and we hated them for it. Were we not hypocrites to do this? Probably, but I still couldn't not do it. I'll be horrible, what we do will be horrible but we would be happy, and I was oddly okay with being selfish.

***

"Jared?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure we are doing the right thing?"

"What makes you say that?"

"She has a mom,"

"So did all of us," he said bitterly. "They never once thought about us."

"It's not there fault. They just get flown here and shoved into us. They don't ask for it. It's forced on them."

"Look, I know." he sighed. "What else can we do? We need Wanda."

"I swear to God, if you are thinking of practicality right now I will kick your sorry ass."

"No, no, no" he defended. "I'm not. Though now you mention it, she does come in handy. But we need her. You need her. Ian needs her. He's falling apart. All he had was his ass of a brother. And lets face it, Kyle is no help what so ever the hypocritical asshat."

"Good," I giggled. He was right about Kyle, and he was a hypocrite. He quite willing put a soul back into his girlfriend so he didn't have to suffer. Selfish, much? He would shout and get angry about Wanda, and people wanting her around and loving her. Then, he went back on every word he had ever said, and accept Sunny. I probably shouldn't have laughed. Maybe it was one of those hysterical things that people do.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. I had to believe this was the right thing to do. It was. It was. It was. I just had to keep telling myself that. It was the right thing to do.

***

She had gone to visit a friend. A little strange. Out of routine for her. But, we could deal, she would still have to be home before the sun had fully set.

The sun set was one of the most beautiful one I had seen in a while. Actually, it was one of the most beautiful ever. I hadn't seen many lately, or ever since the souls had arrived. It was nice to see one, and appreciate it. To see the beauty in a world that wasn't so beautiful. At least, it wasn't beautiful to the humans that were left.

The weather is changing. It's the time between spring and summer, were the weather is just getting warm out. Summers approaching. It's not to hot, or to cold. Just right. It's warm enough to day to go without a jacket and it's just a good day. I used to love this time of year. As a kid it was the time that I used to start playing outside. Me and Jamie would have so much fun. He was quite a bit younger than me, but we had always been connected. I really loved him when he came along. We didn't have that sibling rivalry that other siblings had, we just got along. We both loved this time of year, I hope he still does. I hope he remembers this time of year. It's something that holds us to the world that we used to know.

It's now or never. I have to go on with this. I take one last look up at the sky, breath in that summer smell, and prepare to be brave, and talk to a soul. She should be walking past any second. She's already a little late, so it shouldn't be too much longer. And I'm right, I hear her light footsteps.

"Excuse me?" I say, hoping she will stop. She seems nice enough to. I then remember that she's a soul, they're programmed to be nice. Help when help is needed.

"Hi," she whispers shyly.

"Hello. My name is Melanie." I put on a smile, that should make me appear nice, and not intimidating and all of the stuff that will lead to her helping me out. "I'm new in town, and… I think I'm lost."

"Oh! Where are you trying to go? I'll take you. Our car is just back -" The use of the word our hurts. I'm taking her away from someone who loves her. I think of Jared, Jamie and Ian. So many fixes for just one break. I could do this. I just have to breath and be nice.

"No, it's not far. I was going for a walk, but now I can't find my way back to Becker Street." She smiled sweetly at me. We had picked a street close by, so that she would know and could walk me there, or at least walk me towards Jared and Jamie.

"You're very close," She tells me. "It's just around the second corner up that way, but you can cut right through this little alley here. It takes you straight there."

"Could you show me?" I asked, hopefully. She should do it, it's her nature. "I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Of course!" she said happily. "Come with me. I'm Petals Open to the Moon, but my family…" she's killing me here "…mostly calls me Pet. Where are you from Melanie?" I laugh at this. It is funny, is it not?

"Do you mean San Diego or the Singing World, Pet?" Picked one at random, hopefully, it's believable. Wanda let me know quite a bit about this world, and the other, but I liked the sound of this one.

"Either one," She laughed. "There are two Bats on this street. They live in the yellow house with the pine trees." She trust me, she's sharing. This is good, right? Jared would be pleased, not that he ever doubted me. Is it a good thing? Part of me, all be it a very small part, wanted her to say no. to not trust me, and just go home to her _mom. _

"I'll have to say hello," I murmur. I can sense a change in my voice, I hope she doesn't. My voice has hints of sadness in it. It tense. We are close to the alley where Jared and Jamie wait for us. For me. For Pet. I look down the alley as we reach it. I search for Jared. He should be here. And then I see him, see them. Thank god. Jamie looks nervous. Poor boy, he's too young to deal with this. I knew we should have left him back at the caves. It would be safe for him physically, and emotionally. He doesn't need this. I hope she doesn't get scared by him. I hope she doesn't realise there is something wrong. Everything will go wrong if she does. I should reassure her. Make her comfortable.

"These are my friends, Pet," I tell her, hoping it works. Calming her down and all.

"Oh! Oh, hello." She puts her hand out to Jared. To shake it, she's being polite. It hurts all that much more than it's all going to turn so quickly. As soon as Jared takes her hand. She won't be Pet, she'll be nothing. Then, she'll be Wanda. I hope this is worth it. I hope this is the right choice.

Jared takes her hand, and pull her forward. I can just imagine what she's feeling. She's never dealt with this. She hasn't even seen it on TV, she won't know how to deal with this. Her body won't be able t deal with it. She goes towards Jared easily. He pulls her right to him, and quick spraying the stuff we have to knock her out. She inhales it, and I can see her eyes begin to droop. She's going.

"Wha-" comes out of her mouth, but she isn't awake long enough to finish it. She collapses in Jared arms, but he holds her up.

"Mel?" he says, in a worried voice. It's only them that I realise I have a tear rolling down my face.

"I'm fine. Just get her to the car, please." I begged. I couldn't change my mind. I just couldn't. I couldn't lose Wanda, and this was all we had.

Jared did as I asked. The Jeep was hidden, but close. He picked her up, and quickly walked in the direction of the car. Jamie stayed with me, and held out his hand. It was such a simple gesture, but it showed maturity, and just how grown up he was.

"Thanks," I muttered, taking his hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's just hard."

"I know," he gave me a sad smile, and we both began to walk towards the Jeep. I took a deep breath, and held my head high. I could, and would do this.

We got to the Jeep, and got in. Jamie crawled in the back, and I got up front with Jared. He quickly held out his hand. I quickly took it. He didn't say anything as he began to drive, and he didn't say anything the whole drive back, but his hand would squeeze mine in silent comforting and that was enough. I just needed to know he was here.

We got back to the place where we kept the jeep hidden. The trip back wouldn't be as easy as the trip here. Me and Jamie would have to carry our supplies, as Jared carried Pet. I hoped that I could get out of the habit of calling her Pet. She won't be Pet much longer. She'll be Wanda. I haven't said that out loud much. She was always in my head, I never had to. I would have to get used to that as well.

Jared grabbed Pet, I grabbed the heavy bags, and Jamie helped. Nobody said anything, and it was beginning to get awkward. Jared knew I was having trouble. I had a feeling that Jamie knew that as well. We got back quickly, safely and somewhat easily. Pet was still out for the world. I had a feeling Jared may have given her to much of that stuff, but I'm sure she will be okay.

We got back into the caves, and it was know truly dark. Most people would be asleep, meaning we would have to wake some people up. Jeb, Ian, Doc. I think Jamie would need to sleep. He can't have been getting a goodnights sleep in that Jeep. I didn't.

We got in, and Jared immediately led us to Doc's place. His office, or whatever you wanted to call it. He placed Pet down on the bed that was there and turned to me and Jamie.

"You two should go lie down. Get some sleep."

"It's okay. I want to be here."

"Mel, Doc won't do it tomorrow."

"Okay," I nodded, suddenly feeling much more tired than before. Jamie was nodding.

"I'll wake them up. Tell them we've got her, and that we are safe."

"Okay," I nodded again. I walked back to where we would sleep, Jamie close behind me. As soon as I got to the cave, I basically collapsed. I fell on the mattress, and drifted into a sleep. I really didn't know I was that tired. I assumed Jamie did the same, but I couldn't be sure.

***

The next thing I knew, I was being gently shaken awake. My eyes drifted open, and I saw Jared leaning over me.

"Hi," I breathed.

"Hey," he replied.

"Is it time?"

"Yeah," He nodded. " But I don't know why you want to be there. "

"I just do."

"Mel, you won't want to. Please, let me take care of it. She'll be safe. I just don't want you to see that. It may be okay after, but you don't want to see the wounds."

"Jared, I've seen it before. I was there when Wanda taught Doc. It was my body. Stop being overprotective. Let me do this."

"Fine," he gave in. He leant down to give me a quick kiss, then went over to Jamie, who was snoring lightly. He shook him awake and told him that Wanda would be here soon.

"Jamie, stay here. I'll be back, and get you when it's time for her to wake up."

"Okay," he nodded, and lying his head back down. Back to sleep no doubt. I pulled on a clean top, and waited as Jared did the same. He looked at me, and just had the glint in his eye that he was going to say something about this again.

"Don't even go there," I said, smiling at him. He sighed.

"You know me to well."

"You got that right. You're not going to change my mind."

"As stubborn as ever." he smiled. We began walking towards Doc. I assumed he was already there.

"What about Ian? He would want to be there?"

"Do you think that Ian would let me have Wanda? He's there and he's still not letting go of the tank."

"Good on him," I smiled. It was cute, and it showed that he really loved her. He made this all worth it.

"Yeah," Jared muttered. We walked the rest of the way in silence, holding hands.

***

Everything went as methodically as I thought it would. Doc did the procedure easily. No hassle. I was sure that we wouldn't be able to save the human in there. Wanda would have to tell us when she woke up. If she could hear her, like she did me, we would search again, and save the human.

Now we would just have to wait. We will use the Awake, and just hope she wakes up quickly.

***

It has been almost a day. I hadn't left her side. Neither had Ian. Jared stayed close, but I think it was for me. He left a few times to check on Jamie, and to tell him what was going on. We went for the honest approach with him. Lying would make it complicated. He was worried about Wanda, that she wouldn't wake up, but I trusted that she would. Who I trusted was another question. God? I never really believed in God that much, was I trusting him to let her wake up. Trusting Wanda to wake her self up, to fight? I have no idea, I just trusted someone, or something, to wake her up.

"Wanda? Can you hear me, Wanda?" I asked. "Wanda. Come back. We aren't letting you go."

"Use the awake." Doc instructed. If it wasn't such a stressful time, I would have teased him about his name. It was funny, and I'm sure he would have found the funny side, but I was too worried about Wanda. I sprayed some of the awake in Wanda's face. I gripped her hand tighter than before, and Ian clearly gave her other hand another squeeze.

"Wanderer? We're all waiting for you, honey. Open your eyes." Ian said, whispering in her ear lovingly. Everyone was here. Jared had gone a collected Jamie. Everyone waited in at tense silence. Everything stopped, and we waited for her to open he eyes.

"She's waking up!" Jamie cried excitedly, breaking the silence. He was right. He eyes flickered open and close for a few seconds before they opened fully.

Ian brought his hand up to her face, in such a loving gesture. It was beautiful to watch. It was like Jared and me in private. He wasn't one for PDA.

Wanda's eyes searched the room, until they landed on Ian. She gazed into his eyes, finding the connection she had with him.

"Ian? Ian, where am I? _Who _am I?"

"You're you," he replied. "And you're right where you belong." She pulled her hand free of his, and lifted it slightly. She stopped suddenly, and just stared at her arm. She clenched her fist a few time, and twisted it. She looked shocked. Did she not recognise her hand? She continued to look at her hand, and appeared to be thinking.

"Where is she?" Wanda demanded. "Where is Pet?"

"She's right here," Doc said, in his reassuring voice. "Tanked and ready to go. We thought you could tell us the best place to send her." Wanda looked at Doc quickly. Then, she got a mad look on her face.

"Doc!" she screamed. "Doc! You promised!" She was really mad. "You gave me your oath, _Eustance! _Why? Why did you break your word?" There was a pause in speech before Doc answered calmly.

"Even an honest man sometimes caves to duress, Wanda."

"Duress," Jared scoffed. Did I forget to mention, Jared really wanted Doc to do this procedure. Doc had refused, him being a man of his word, but Jared got forceful and kind of… threatened him. I didn't want him to, but he did. Violence wasn't needed, I'm sure I could have talked him around, but Jared wanted it done quickly.

"I'd say a knife to the throat counts as duress, Jared."

"You knew I wouldn't really use it."

"That I did not," Doc replied. "You were quite persuasive."

"A knife?" Wanda stuttered, in fear, I had to guess. She really didn't do violence did she?

"Shh, it's okay," Ian soothed her. Wanda made the generic gesture of pushing her hair out of her face. "Did you really think you could leave us that way? Wanda!" he sighed with a huge grin. He was happy. Truly happy. It was nice to see, he was a good friend and he protected me and Wanda. I'm glad he's happy.

"I told you I didn't want to be a parasite." She whispered sadly.

"Listen up, Wanda," I interjected. "I know exactly what you don't want to be. But we're human and we're selfish, and _we _don't always do the right thing. We aren't going to let you go. Deal with it."

"Mel?" she asked, a little disorientated. "Mel, you're okay!" she exclaimed. I smiled down at her. She was happy to see me. She didn't hate me.

"Of course I am. Wasn't that the point of all the drama? And you're going to be fine too. We weren't stupid about it. We didn't just grab the first body we saw."

"Let me tell her, let me!" Jamie shouted excitedly.

"Jamie!" Wanda smiled.

"Hey, Wanda! This is cool, isn't it? You're smaller than me now," He smiled. It was cute. He was the little boy I knew again. It was lovely.

"But still older. I'm almost-" she paused. "My birthday is in two weeks. I'll be eighteen." She lied quite well, but not well enough for me. She was lying about her age? What? Jamie remained oblivious to it. Ian seemed to get that it may not be true, but I think he would let it slide.

"They let me come on the raid to get you," he said, patting her face.

"I know," She sighed. "I remember… Well, Pet remembers seeing you there." With that, she glared at me. I just shrugged. I couldn't do much more.

"We tried not to scare her." Jamie said. "She's so… kind of fragile looking, you know? And nice too. We picked her out together, but I picked in the end. See, Mel wanted someone young - someone who had a bigger percentage of life as a soul or something. But not too young, we knew you wouldn't want to be a child." She quickly glanced at Ian at this point, who smiled back at her. "We liked your face. Jared did. He said nobody could dis… distrust it. You don't look dangerous at all. You look the opposite of dangerous. Jared said anyone who see you would just naturally want to protect you, right, Jared?" he didn't wait for a reply. He just rambled on. "I got the final say, because I was looking for someone who looked like _you._ And I thought she looked like you. Because she sort of looks like an angel, and you're good like that. And really pretty. I knew you would be pretty. Ian didn't come. He just sat there with you - he said he didn't care what you looked like. He wouldn't let anyone else put a finger on your tank, not even me or Mel. I couldn't help or anything. Ian wouldn't let anyone touch you but him." Ian lent down to Wanda and began to whisper in her ear. I didn't really hear what he said, but it made Wanda smile hugely. He eyes began to tear up, it was lovely. She was so happy. She made a slight sniffing noise, and Jamie got a worried look on his face.

"You like it, don't you? You're not mad? There's nobody in there with you, is there?"

"I'm not mad, exactly." Wanda replied. "And I - I can't find anyone else. Just Pet's memories. Pet's been in here since … I can't remember when she wasn't here. I can't remember my other name."

"You're not a parasite," I said, sternly. "This body didn't belong to Pet., but there's nobody else to claim it." There was a pause, as Wanda struggled to get up. Ian eventually pulled her up so she was sitting. She looked around the room at everyone that was here. Jamie, Jeb, Jared, Ian, Me, Doc, Sunny… even Kyle, much to my detest. Trudy was here as was Geoffrey, Heath, Paige, Andy, Brandt, Lilly. She looked around the room at all the smiling faces. She smiled back. They accepted her, even Kyle. This was the start of something great. We could live as normal as possible. I had my sister. Ian had his soul mate (no pun intended) and we could just be happy. Ever since I got here, there was the matter of me and Wanda being one. Now we were separate, and we could go on with life as normal humans. We could love our partners separately. We were no longer one, we were two people, happy. Finally.

**Did you like? I changed some of the dialogue from the book and kept some, just so it fit my story line. It had been a while since I had read the host when I wrote this chapter so not everything was right as it was in the book, but I hope it worked. Leave me a little review and tell me what you thought. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Sarah x**


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